On May 3rd, 2017 Cara Delevigne published a picture of herself captured by paparazzi where you can see her new (no)haircut aka bald style and a short note on how she is exhausted of being told what beauty should look like.
For a moment this post made me worried that Cara has become a victim of cancer. As someone who is not too big on tabloid news and celeb lives, I didn’t know that she actually did it for a new role in the movie Life in A Year. But nevertheless, her words provoked a strong reaction inside of me.
A little back story… If you would’ve asked me a couple years ago whether women are often discriminated in our society, I would say that it is nonsense - look at how many women are successful, independent and living their best. Forgive me for my young mind that had just recently moved to the USA from a post-soviet Ukraine. Looking at the American culture with my Eastern European eyes, I did see a lot of conversations about gender inequality but I didn’t see any reasons for it. See, I was raised by pretty liberal and forward thinking parents, who always taught me that I should first define who I am for myself and there are no boundaries for me in pursuing my passions. They taught me that I am strong and capable of being both smart and pretty.
So it wasn’t until one time when I argued with my boyfriend at that time (now husband) that made me see where the problem lies. I stated that people are talking way too much here in the U.S. about how women are treated and there are no problems like that in Ukraine. And his response was: “Yes, and from what I know, women are being beaten by their husbands frequently, and this is recognized as normal behavior in families.”
I was defeated.
Yes, my parents raised me to believe that I can achieve anything despite my gender, but not all ideas of equality between the sexes were followed, even in my own house.
So, coming back to Cara. I can imagine how much she’s heard regarding her bald head chic. In fact, I know it firsthand because I had short hair for about a year, myself. If you want to check who is really your friend, go short hair and see how many people will turn into A-holes giving you recommendations on how you should live your life. You will never see more people caring about your own shit in your lifetime.
I was told I looked better with long hair, I looked sexier, I looked hotter, I looked more feminine, I looked more LIKE A REAL WOMAN (have no idea what that means). My ex-boyfriend even expressed his concern that maybe he was so bad I went lesbian.
I didn’t change anything in my life besides my hair, but people around me changed everything about me because of the haircut. What is more astonishing about all this: comments that some people give, or a number of people who think it’s their duty to tell you that you don’t fit in their life views? Did the Mayans say that the world will collapse if you cut your hair short?
What is the Real Woman? And what makes you not a real woman? In my opinion, you are not a real woman in a few cases: you are a plastic real-size sex toy, you are a character from Some Like It Hot, you were born a woman but identify yourself as a man. The term Real Woman was not found in any legit dictionary, although you may find some slap-in-a-face-worthy definitions on the internet. As for definitions of the beauty itself, they are also pretty broad. According to the Cambridge dictionary beauty is:
1) the quality of being pleasing, especially to look at, or someone or something that gives great pleasure, especially when you look at it
2) something that is an excellent example of its kind
3) a quality that makes something especially good or attractive
It is noticeable that there is no clear verbalization of what that quality that gives great pleasure looks like. Nothing about hair, that’s for sure. We define it for ourselves. So while someone gets offended by Cara’s bald scalp, others find this act of dedication to one’s job alone being the most honorable and gorgeous thing.
What is one thing that you always wanted to do but never did because of what others may think? Write in the comment below.
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